Christmas Crackers 8: The Devil’s Beatitudes

Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week in church – they are my best workers.

Blessed are those who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked – I can use them.

Blessed are the touchy, with a bit of luck they may stop going to church – they are my missionaries.

Blessed are those who are very religious but get on everyone’s nerves – they do my work for me.

Blessed are the troublemakers – they shall be called my children.

Blessed are those who have no time to pray – they are easy prey for me (geddit?).

Blessed are the gossipers – for they are my secret agents.

Blessed are those critical of church leadership – they are following my example.

Blessed are the complainers – I’m all ears for them.

Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people – I’ve got you!