Lenten Retreat – Week 3, Tuesday.

How do we react when we read or hear today’s Gospel? If we are in the situation where someone has hurt us very deeply, this Gospel may make us feel uncomfortable, because it asks a lot of us. It is relatively straight forward to forgive a minor transgression, such as the late arrival of a friend at the pub, or an occasional careless insensitivity from a family member. But how about if someone seems to do the same kind of thing over and over again, such that the level of hurt develops? It’s not quite as easy to forgive in such situations, and being told to ‘move on’ or ‘forget about it’ doesn’t take seriously the damage that has been done. But all the same, many of us will be aware that keeping tabs of how often we have been hurt by another person can start to become destructive, and serves only to fuel our hurt. It can start to dominate our thinking, and the whole situation can start to snowball.

Even though the hurt is keenly felt, today’s Gospel shows us that we need to take a step back from our own grievances and look more widely at the way we treat others. Being able to forgive others for what they have done to us seems to require us first to recognise that we also are people who need to be forgiven. The fact that we have all done wrong means that we all stand in need of God’s mercy, and of the mercy of others. This common need for pardon is one of the great levellers! When we experience forgiveness from others for what we have done, it allows us to breath again, and our horizons are broadened. It sets us back on the road and allows us to try again. And when we forgive someone who has hurt us, we receive even more. We not only give that gift of freedom to someone else, but we experience a new freedom ourselves.

Learning to forgive on a daily basis can be hard and painful. But it is at the very heart of our human flourishing to be able to do this. God asks nothing less of us because it is through forgiveness that we learn how to love, and that we are made fit for the kingdom.